Creationist “Theme Park” to rival Disney
American Philanthropist and staunch Creationist Kelvin Mark of New York has announced plans to build a Creationist Theme park which promises to “Educate and Entertain the American public”.
In a press conference held at his Manhattan home, Mr Mark described details of the Park and what he hoped to achieve.
“This isn’t about making money, its about providing scriptural entertainment that the whole family will find beneficial. For too long the educated and open minded have infected our society with theories and conjecture, using science and other tools of the devil with the sole purpose of undermining Christian values. Our main goal is to shoehorn our fundamentalist propaganda into the minds of the young, uneducated and desperate.”
Posing as Christian missionaries from London, reporters from kneeb4me.com obtained letters containing suggestions and comments for future Park activities and rides.
“I want to be able to whip Jews”, requested Rev Clayton Geoffrey. “Whip ‘em ’till they stop moving. That’ll teach those big nosed, Jesus murdering monkeys a lesson”
“I would like a traditional Christian campfire sing-song”, wrote Sister Stacy Steadman. “Obviously we’d be using Devil books to feed the fire. Not just Dawkins, Darwin, Gödel and Singh, but lesser known satanic books like High School Biology, Math, Physics and Chemistry textbooks.
“No blacks” sneered Mr G.A Gority. “There’s no place in heaven for descendants of Cain, and I don’t want them looking at my daughters. Those people can’t help themselves!”
Kneelb4me.com has asked Kelvin Marks office to comment on the mentality of people his Park is attracting. Mr Marks office refused to comment.
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